My “problem”… Can’t you see?

“Your only problem is that you scream without letting yourself cry.”

Can’t you see?
My meds don’t let me cry,
& trust me you want me to take my meds.
‘Cause when I cry, I cry with anger,
I cry without a voice,
I cry suffocated.
I cry without letting someone know.
You better want me to scream,
if you see me cry in silence it would be
so unknown to you, so intense, so unpredictable
that I’ll drive you insane trying to understand.

So, baby let me be,
let me scream, let me take this out
I’ll let you know later if I meant whatever I said.

Baby, can’t you see?
I’ve cried so much for people
who only gave fucks about me.
I’ve cried so much that now is hard
to take out one tear.
I’ve cried so much that I prefer to bleed.
I’ve cried so much that it left me empty.

Can’t you see?
I want to cry,

I want to cry because of the joy
of having someone worth crying for.
I want to cry because for the first time in my life
I can be transparent without fearing someone can judge me.
I want to cry because I don’t need you,
but because I want you.

Baby, can’t you see?
Tears streaming down my face is a blessing to me.

Can’t you see?
You’re like the sunrise to me.

After all the darkness I’ve been through,
I finally can see the light was just outside my window.

Baby, can’t you see?
I don’t waste my tears anymore

unless is worth it.
I bleed words now on the paper,
the ink is my tears.
And crying is overrated to me.

Can’t you see?
My tears are black,

and you make darkness feel beautiful.

— Journals ¦ “Flirting with Madness”

cartas Escritos y pensamientos Thoughts and writings

Gabriela Christina Díaz View All →

Nacida en Puerto Rico, pero soy ciudadana del Mundo. Escribo para vaciar el ruido de mi mente y me llena el corazón que alguien le toque de alguna forma lo que escribo. Pues de nada me sirve escribir si lo que escribo no conmueve un alma. No escribo muchas paradojas porque yo soy la paradoja en sí. Soy un poco controversial en mi manera de expresarme, pero escribo y me expreso de una forma transparente, desde lo más sincero de mis adentros.

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